FORGIVENESS IS A FORM OF SELF LOVE
Let me begin by saying that not everyone DESERVES to be allowed to have access to you.
They don’t.
Forgiving IS NOT about condoning bad behavior or minimizing a hurt done to you.
Forgiveness is simply a commitment to stop telling an old story so you don’t carry its burden anymore.
When we choose not to forgive we continue to victimize and punish ourselves. By not choosing to forgive we get trapped in the old story which allows it to fester, become distorted and cause us pain.
The fact is YOU victimize and punish yourself EVERY SINGLE TIME you re-play or re-tell the story about what was done to you.
Forgiveness is an incredibly powerful gift you give yourself.
By forgiving, really forgiving, you free yourself from any emotional charge that story held for you in the past. Freeing yourself from the emotional charge is freeing you from that emotional trigger.
Emotional triggers are what cause us to engage in old, usually unhealthy, behaviors and reactions. When we are able to not get triggered by an old emotional charge we have the freedom to choose a course of action that supports our well being.
This is the part where self love comes into the equation.
When we are able to choose our course of action, instead of simply reacting, we are able to decide whether or not we want to engage in a behavior that supports our highest good.
The greatest challenge about forgiveness, to me, is that many people think that because they forgive someone it means they need to forget what they did, or worse, that the person being forgiven gets to have access to them again, which simply is NOT true.
Like I said at the very beginning, not everyone DESERVES to have access to you.
Creating a Red Velvet Rope policy for your life ensures that only those who treat you with kindness, love and respect get to have access to you.
No one else. Period.
As odd as it may seem, forgiveness is a gateway to having healthy boundaries without anger. When you KNOW your worth, really KNOW it, then it’s easy to not allow people into your life that don’t DESERVE to have access to you.
I hope that this New Year brings you Peace, Love and Abundance in every area of your life.
